if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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