i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
