I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
