why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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