My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
