I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
