you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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