I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
