yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
