I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
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Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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