The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
