Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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