I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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