wanna go halves on a baby?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
