i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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