singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
