idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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