me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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