I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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