awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize