i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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