She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
