Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
