It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize