i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
