this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
