i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
