Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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