Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
