She's JV to your varsity
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
