Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
