There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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