Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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