He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
