yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
