we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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