is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
