hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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