we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
