I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
