I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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