It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
