i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
