OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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