We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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