Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
