She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
