I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
