but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
