The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
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Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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