Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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