Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
