I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
