White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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