I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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