I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
