like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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