I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
