is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
