I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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