The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
