So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
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I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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