Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
