i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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