Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
