So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
