You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
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He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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