I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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